House repairs, Decorating and Skunks

What to say... I've completely moved into my new house. I wont lie, it's a big work in progress. If I can give any kind of advice, get the home warranty. On that note my AC has gone out. I've had the guys out and it's about 340.00 to replace the blower motor. Thanks to the home warranty, I'm paying 75.00.

I've gotten the paperwork signed and ready to start putting up my new fencing for the yard. It will be a great place for my son's & my dog to play. Plus when my family comes up, there kids will have a safe place too.After all, it's people that truly make a house a home. I look forward to finally having a place where my friends & family can come and relax.

Also on the to-do list is my windows getting replaces. I finally got a quote that I can work with, and they are starting the paperwork on it this morning. That should be a huge cut in electric, not mention raising the value of the home. So as it stands, all 3 majors projects are getting taken care of. It feels so good to watch your dreams come true and blossom right in front of you.

Now working patching up the walls and getting them ready to be painted. Not sure what the last contractors where thinking, but there are so many visual problems. Cracks in the walls, places where the ceiling was not tacked up right and so places completely missing paint. This week I've started patching up holes and cracks on the walls that do not have windows. No point on the window walls, they will be getting replaced soon enough. Feels good, getting my hands into the work and showing some love to this old house. I can't wait to see how it all works out.

     Mushy Boyfriend Note <3 <3 <3    

A few weeks ago and small family of skunks moved into his yard. Sadly the mommy had gotten hit by a car. However the little ones (3 of them) are old enough to find food in the yard. Ideally having skunks around the house is not optimal. You never know, if you scare or walk up on them. That is not a smell you want to experience. If you know anything about me, it's that I do love animals...even the stinky ones. So I've been loving seeing the little ones (from a distance) walking about and doing there thing.

Last night one of the neighbors came over with a 22 rifle. Wanted to know if he can kill the babies on his property. I knew that he didn't want them there, I know that there's a chance of running into them and scaring them. As I stood there with tears welling in my eyes he told him that he can't kill them on his property. Still worried that they may be killed, my boyfriend agreed to let me feed them in hope that they will not wonder off the property.

As much as he does not want them on his property, he loves me enough to stand for me and help me with my love of animals. He has truly shown me how much he cares and respects my opinion and my feelings. I now know that he is the only man that I could ever love and spend the rest of my life with.

My new home

It's been a bit crazy.... I've gotten my new home, and all my stuff is moved in. Electric, water, and internet is all set up. The next is to get garbage pick-up set up. Turns out that I'm just outside the city limits, so I have to my own garbage taken care of.

Mommy of course came up to help me. We got movers for the last little bit that was too heavy to move on our own. They where awesome and a pleasure to work with. She even helped with getting most of the cleaning done in the old apartment. I can never measure how much my mother has always been there for me. Some say that kids are a gift from God, but my mommy is the gift for me <3

Hoping in about 3-4 weeks I will have a fenced in yard for the dogs to play in. After consideration, I
had decided to go with a 100ft of fencing for the dogs. They will love being about to run and not have to be tired up. I'm going to have two gates put on, so I can get to the rest of my backyard and to the front. This will be best for cutting grass and entertaining friends. Should be getting a quote on new windows tomorrow morning. I can't wait to see how everything looks with new windows. Not to mention the savings on the electric >.<

I've gotten most of the boxes unpacked and working on getting the art on the walls. Turns out that I was off for about 4 days this week. Making all the work that needed to be done fast and easy. There is still plenty of work to be done, but at least most of the bulk work is done.

I just can't express enough, how much I'm looking forward to making this home all me. Living in apartments just didn't give me the outlet that I love for decorating. Sure I've hung pics, and nick-naks, and put pillows on the couch. But, there is nothing like picking out paint, counter tops, working in a garden and knowing that everything is yours to control. Sure it's a lot of work, but so worth it in the long run. Knowing that the money I spend isn't just going to some leasing office. It's now an investment to my future. One day I may sell and everything I've worked on will be reward back to me. Until then, it's a labor of love <3

A New Home

Jess and me Easter 2016

Life has been so crazy for me. One minute everything is falling apart and the next, everything is falling into place.

As some may know, my niece was in a horrific car accent. By the grace of God the kids when never hurt. She has it rough, but at the moment she seems for be fine. However earlier this week there is talk of brain surgery that she may need. Her head aches are not getting better and she is still in a lot of pain. Our family and friends are awesome. Everyone has stepped up and helped. Weather is was watching the kids, or donating money for her lost glasses and medical bills. I have truly been blessed to see Gods work in her protection and in the hearts that hold her dear.

Michell at the carnival 2016

My niece's daughter came into town with my mom, and we spent time at the carnival. So much fun watching the people and her having a grand time. All the lights and excitement. It was very awesome to spend time with her as well as my mother. I had to work most of the time, but even the small amount that I got with them was worth it.

For months now, I've had to drive my son to work and most of the time, drive him back home. Finally last week, we saved up enough to get him his own transportation. Picked him up a 87 Mazda B2000. It does need work, but it is so nice to not get up at the crack of dawn. Especially when I don't have to be at work or I happen to be working closing that day. The need for sleep can be very underestimated LOL.

Finally, it is coming to the wire. I could be closing on my new home maybe as early as two weeks. We have just had it inspected and are waiting to hear from the sellers as to weather they are willing to drop some cost in order to fix the windows. I was able to get into the house yesterday to get some measurements. I have many plans or decorating, and building that are flying in my head. I want to fence in the back yard so my dogs can play safely. Update the look of the home and pull it out of the 50's era. This isn't just so that I like it, but also for resale value. 
 
One of the things I enjoy doing is decorating, and remodeling. The room that I've picked as for my bedroom doesn't have a built in closet. Trust me when I say I am so looking forward to building my own. However I have found out the working on blue prints is not easy when lazy kitties want to be in your spot.


For the personal note... I had always thought that being married is the only way to happiness. Either cause I was  scared of growing old alone. Maybe it was cause I thought that if he married me, it would finally mean he really cared for me. And of course, all my friends are getting married. Truth be told, you can never force someone to care that much for you. If you happen to get an unwilling spouse, then it will never end well in the long or short run of it. I am finally realizing that I don't need someone to make me feel wanted, or loved. I'm very fortunate to have someone who cares and does love me very much. I'm so very happy that I don't put the pressure on him to prove his love to me. I don't need him to live with me, or marry me, in order for me to know he cares. He does this just by being open and honest with me at all times. If someday we do decide to live or be married, it will be cause we want to. It will be cause we choose to spend our lives together for the right reasons. My friend has told me "you never know what the future holds" as long as I never go back to where and what I was, I will look forward to all the new adventures in my life.

New in the future of big changes for me.

Driving a crossfire <woot>

Well, it's been a bit over a year since I've made the big jump to be on my own. So much has happened and so many changes in my life and how I feel about things.

When I first moved here, I was afraid that my life and my dreams where just going to disappear. That the important people that I loved would one day just walk away out of my life. I had to life with so many regrets and so many ups and downs from moving. I've had to make new friends and find new interest for my life. The only thing that I was sure of was that I knew I had to develop more as an individual.

Mommy visiting

Since in the time of a year, I've had my heart broken, lost some friends and lost a job that I enjoyed doing. I also have made new friends, got my heart mended, and found a better job that is more rewarding in funds and quality of management. During my times here, I've had one son stay with my for a few weeks, another come visit me, and one that needed a place to stay and still has not to leave yet. LOL I've had family come visit, sometimes for a day and sometimes for a few days. I've started taking up shag dancing, going to wine tastings, and trying to get back into painting again.

I've met an awesome man who never leaves me feeling lost or confused. He encourages me to be strong and independent, but he also never leaves me feeling lacking or unappreciated. He has shown me that I can count on him, but I don't need to. He's shown me that I can make myself happy and in turn I am a happier person to be with. I'm not dependent on being with him, but he is an extension of my happiness that I am so very glad to have in my life.

Now, after a year I've done some pretty hard looking at what I wanted in my life and what I didn't
want. I knew that I've always craved to make sure that I've had a permit fix on my life. For the longest time, I thought that meant that I had to be married in order to feel confident with my future. I've began to realized that wasn't the case at all. In fact it's completely the wrong reason to get married. I still need that feeling of having confidence in my future. So I'm thinking that it was time to make my own step to a permanent future.

New House <bites nails>

I've just made an offer on a 3 bedroom, 1 bath house in a quite little town. It's about the half way point between where I am now and where my awesome boyfriend is living. Which is also where my shag club meets for dancing LOL. The house is pretty dated and really needs a lot of upgrades in the looks department. I'm really hoping that this is what God has planed for me. The structure of the home is very sound and the roof looks to be in very good condition. I'm extremely exited of my new venture in my future. It's the first real step that I've taken in walking away from my past and stepping into the light of a new life. A life that is about me growing a person and as an independent.

Working out, Growing, Cooking, and Decorating.

There has been so much going on lately. Lets start with I've decided to lose a bit (shit tons) of weight. I've started cutting out the sodas, sweets, and starches. I've finally decided to join a gym. Been going about 3 times a week. So far I've lost about 5 lbs. I know the first 5 is easy, the second is harder and the rest takes for ever. Hoping that I have what it takes to stick to it. However this is the first time that I'm doing this for me. Every times before I was doing it cause I thought that it would make someone love me more. Or I thought that maybe if I was pretty enough I would be appreciated more. I now know that these things are no longer important. I'm going to look and feel awesome, cause I want to. Because I want to look in the mirror and say "looking good".

Had to go though a bit of a rough patch. Some how fell back into my old ways of paranoia. I got super worried and upset over some pictures that my boyfriend liked. At first I was afraid to talk to him about it. In the past I was lead to believe that being paranoid was something that I was aloud to feel. After sometime, I broke down (more like bald my eyes out) and told him what I was feeling. He know of my past and how rough that I had it. He reassured me that they are friends of the family, but it wont be happening again. He told me that I was just as important to him, as his kids and that he loved me so very much. His words calmed me and made me realize that I was so silly to think that this awesome man would do anything to hurt me. He is truly one of a kind and no one has ever respected or loved me more then he does right now.

Over this past weekend was our one year anniversary of dating. To be honest with my up and down emotions I was so worried that I wouldn't be able to ever trust someone again. He has shown time and time again that he loves me and that he would never hurt me. He is there when I need him, even on the first time I took an anxious pill and got super sick. He rushed over and sat with me all night. Every morning he texts me good morning beautiful. He takes the time to check on me and show me how much he cares for me. Now that the year has pasted, I can't imagine my life with out him. I learned how to make Chicken Cordon Blue (one of his favs) for out dinner. I will have to say that it came out awesome. Lots of work but it was worth it, he's worth it <3 <3 <3

Continuing on awesome boyfriend stuff. He is letting me decorate his game room. I feel so trusted and accepted into his life with this. He letting me paint the room and even add a graphic on the wall behind the new futon. I'm very excited to see how it all comes out. We are making the room light blue, with black and gray. Picked out a shelving unit that holds most of the systems plus the TV. Got a fairly comfy couch, that will fold out to a bed. Hoping to find an area rug, new curtains and top it off with gaming/music art. Not to mention, his Opus collection LOL

Family, Friends, and Drinking...

Finally got to hit up the monthly wine tasting in town. Must say that it was pretty awesome. Being the new person, I didn't know anyone, so I did like any healthy person does, I clinged to the attendent serving the wine. It was his first time serving that venue, so we where both noobies. However I'm looking forward to next month, and maybe I might talk to someone else. LOL

After wine tasting, my son and I met up with my friends at the Cressent Moom Cafe. Found a bartender that took the time to make my a Lifesaver drink. If you like sweet drinks then you will love this. Every time I have one, it still takes me back to the day a bartender introducded me to it. That was an awesome night, and such a long time ago.

Anyways as it turns out the band that we came to see wasn't playing that night. So we took off the the Iron Thunder Saloon. It's a biker bar, as it's location is right next to the Harly Davidson Bike Dealership. The waitresses are dressed slutty, and the band was awesome, and my friends are even better. Have to say, I also enjoyed having my son hang out with us.

We didn't stay as long as we liked, having work and all that adulting stuff we have to do. But it was a great time by all.

Where will you be standing?

This morning I woke to a thought. It really started manifesting during the morning as I'm doing my usual Facebook browsing.  The amount of hate and division going on between the people I care about is awful.  I have a very wide variety of people on my friends list to say the least. Some are gay, bi, and straight. I have blacks, whites, and orientals.  There are Wickens, Christians, Jehovah Witnesses, and Atheist.  Some are old, middle aged, young, and even children. If I've left anyone out, I do apologize.

I personally am the white, middle aged, straight, Christian, female.  I have my beliefs and I have my opinion on those beliefs.  Just as my friends have on theirs.  But no matter what I feel or believe, I care about all my friends and family the same. I may not feel the same way they do and I may not support the same things they do.  However it will never change how I care of all of them.

The real thing that is weighing on my heart today is... Where are we heading as people? I truly feel that no matter who wins the election, the world as we know it will change.  And it won’t change for the good.  Everything that is happening, not just in the US, but around the whole world, is leading to the end times.  I don’t understand the debate about restrooms and transgenders.  Will the world really get better if we raise the minimum wage to $15 an hour?  The future seems very bleak to me.

The hate, the crimes, and wars are all leading us down a predestined path. I know, I know, here we go with a preachy talk of the end times. Regardless if anyone choose to accept it, it is still going to happen. Do I know when? No. Do I know how? Sadly no. I really need to brush up on my Revelations again.

What I do know is that when it happens where will you as a person stand.  Will you be standing on the side of man.  Will you be supporting the way of man and his ways.  Or, will you be standing on the side of God.  Supporting his way and his standings.  The way of man is always changing.  It's always evolving to cater to the will of the population.  Standing for what may be popular, but may not be right.  God's will has never changed.  His laws and guides for life have never changed.

When is comes down to it in the end, as much as I love all my friends, I am hoping to be strong enough to choose God's way.  As much as I want all my friend safe and happy, it comes down to our own personal eternal lives.  The only thing I can hope is that everyone will turn and stand with me.  I hate the idea of leaving anyone behind.  But it's a personal decision, and can only be made by each person.  Just always know, no matter what you believe in, or where you stand, I will always care for everyone that means so much to me.

My mom reminded me of Revelation 3:15-16
"I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm--neither hot nor cold--I am about to spit you out of my mouth."

Where will you be standing?