My Birthday, My Life, My future

This month I'm turning 49. I know, I know, I'm not supposed to say your age. I've never feared getting older. I think my biggest fear was just getting older without someone by my side. I've never cared for the feeling of not knowing if I was on the right path, or with the right person. Always thinking that if I wasn't married that my life for some reason is incomplete.

In just a little over a year, there has been so many changes happening. I walked away from a life that I thought I wanted and found out that the life I wanted was two states away. The main reason for moving back to NC was to find out who I was, and where I needed to be. As much as I loved the person that I was with, I didn't like the person I was with him. So as much as it hurt to leave I left in order to find a better me. As it turns out we both are better people for it and now we are probably better friends then we ever where. Our experiences have shown each other of who we are and I am thankful that our friendship getting better as time moves on.

Since my move, I've joined a shag dance club, took up wine tasting, and started doing more thing that made me happy. I set goals for my life in gaming, relationships, and family. I've cut down on gaming and started focusing on making friends. I've met someone awesome that I share common interest and corks with. At the same time we respect each others differences too. Plus I'm working on spending more time with family, now that I'm closer to them. I'm learning that being satisfied in myself is what I was lacking in my old life. I had the illusion that it was up to someone else to make me happy. Lets not forget the fact that I've bought myself a new home. I've found that I get great happiness from working on making this house into the home that I've always wanted.


Looking back at my life I know that the path I needed to take to find my boyfriend was a necessary one. All my past experiences have shown me how lucky I am to have him in my life. I thank God everyday for finding someone who thinks bow ties are cool too. He cares for his family, works on cars, and saves turtles from the side of the road. What more can someone want from a love. Plus he knows how much mike to put in my cereal and how to make my coffee <3

As I'm getting older, I still have a wanting to grow old with someone. However it's gone from "OMG - I need to have this now" to "I look forward to when the time is right to be with my forever love". Knowing that no matter what happens in the future everything will happen for the best. That right there folks has got the be the most peaceful feeling that I've ever had.

A New Home

Jess and me Easter 2016

Life has been so crazy for me. One minute everything is falling apart and the next, everything is falling into place.

As some may know, my niece was in a horrific car accent. By the grace of God the kids when never hurt. She has it rough, but at the moment she seems for be fine. However earlier this week there is talk of brain surgery that she may need. Her head aches are not getting better and she is still in a lot of pain. Our family and friends are awesome. Everyone has stepped up and helped. Weather is was watching the kids, or donating money for her lost glasses and medical bills. I have truly been blessed to see Gods work in her protection and in the hearts that hold her dear.

Michell at the carnival 2016

My niece's daughter came into town with my mom, and we spent time at the carnival. So much fun watching the people and her having a grand time. All the lights and excitement. It was very awesome to spend time with her as well as my mother. I had to work most of the time, but even the small amount that I got with them was worth it.

For months now, I've had to drive my son to work and most of the time, drive him back home. Finally last week, we saved up enough to get him his own transportation. Picked him up a 87 Mazda B2000. It does need work, but it is so nice to not get up at the crack of dawn. Especially when I don't have to be at work or I happen to be working closing that day. The need for sleep can be very underestimated LOL.

Finally, it is coming to the wire. I could be closing on my new home maybe as early as two weeks. We have just had it inspected and are waiting to hear from the sellers as to weather they are willing to drop some cost in order to fix the windows. I was able to get into the house yesterday to get some measurements. I have many plans or decorating, and building that are flying in my head. I want to fence in the back yard so my dogs can play safely. Update the look of the home and pull it out of the 50's era. This isn't just so that I like it, but also for resale value. 
 
One of the things I enjoy doing is decorating, and remodeling. The room that I've picked as for my bedroom doesn't have a built in closet. Trust me when I say I am so looking forward to building my own. However I have found out the working on blue prints is not easy when lazy kitties want to be in your spot.


For the personal note... I had always thought that being married is the only way to happiness. Either cause I was  scared of growing old alone. Maybe it was cause I thought that if he married me, it would finally mean he really cared for me. And of course, all my friends are getting married. Truth be told, you can never force someone to care that much for you. If you happen to get an unwilling spouse, then it will never end well in the long or short run of it. I am finally realizing that I don't need someone to make me feel wanted, or loved. I'm very fortunate to have someone who cares and does love me very much. I'm so very happy that I don't put the pressure on him to prove his love to me. I don't need him to live with me, or marry me, in order for me to know he cares. He does this just by being open and honest with me at all times. If someday we do decide to live or be married, it will be cause we want to. It will be cause we choose to spend our lives together for the right reasons. My friend has told me "you never know what the future holds" as long as I never go back to where and what I was, I will look forward to all the new adventures in my life.

Family, Friends, and Drinking...

Finally got to hit up the monthly wine tasting in town. Must say that it was pretty awesome. Being the new person, I didn't know anyone, so I did like any healthy person does, I clinged to the attendent serving the wine. It was his first time serving that venue, so we where both noobies. However I'm looking forward to next month, and maybe I might talk to someone else. LOL

After wine tasting, my son and I met up with my friends at the Cressent Moom Cafe. Found a bartender that took the time to make my a Lifesaver drink. If you like sweet drinks then you will love this. Every time I have one, it still takes me back to the day a bartender introducded me to it. That was an awesome night, and such a long time ago.

Anyways as it turns out the band that we came to see wasn't playing that night. So we took off the the Iron Thunder Saloon. It's a biker bar, as it's location is right next to the Harly Davidson Bike Dealership. The waitresses are dressed slutty, and the band was awesome, and my friends are even better. Have to say, I also enjoyed having my son hang out with us.

We didn't stay as long as we liked, having work and all that adulting stuff we have to do. But it was a great time by all.