Starting A New

It's been forever since I've posted on here. A lot has happened since my last post. 2017 was a horrible year of chemo, surgeries, heart breaks, and reaching my lowest point in depression. 2018 in the beginning wasn't much better. Still dealing with chemo and the then having a double mastectomy. The constant feeling being lied and the mis trust I dealt with most of the year. There where time that I have reached a low that even the most important people in my family didn't know about. Then even in the end of the year, I'm dealing with people working on making me feel my worst. Some trying to make me second guest my choice mostly. Or others who try to so the seeds of lies to make me question my friends and relations.

However we are not at the end of 2018 and a New Year is about to begin. Currently I'm feeling the most confident that I've felt in years. The people who care have made sure to let me know that they are with me for life & others who only care to hurt me have chosen to step away.

This year I have finished my chemo and as stated before I had a double mastectomy, with reconstruction. Pretty much I now look like a barbe LOL. Finished radiation and back at work just in time for the Christmas holidays. You have no idea how great it is to work, when you are told you can't. I've learned how to refurbished my own floors in my house, and they look pretty good, if I say so myself. It has giving me the confidence to try to learn as many new things that I can. This Sunday I will be started in my new position at work on the Merchandising team. It's much earlier hours and hopefully more physical. I so excited to get on with my new venture with the team.

The holidays where awesome and I hope to have pictures to post soon. However I have eaten myself into a whopping ???.6 lbs. Way to embarrassed to actually say my weight, but that is something I am going to have to fix. However that segways me into the next part of my blog... GOALS

I know, it's a bit early for the whole New Year's Resolution, but this is what I was thinking about "this" morning... I really want to focus on me this year. I spend way to much energy worrying about what she/he thinks and if people like or don't like me. I want to look in a mirror and be happy with myself (aka weight loss & taking care of how I look). Maybe a post of weight loss with pop up one day. Lets all hope so >.<  I want to be more active and feel better about going out doing things. Tired of being winded with the smallest of tasks. I want to go hiking, swimming and in general do more things to feel alive. I want to make "my" house the best that it can be. It's been far to long that I have neglected it. It's time to make into a home that I can be proud of. I want to learn all that I can and do things for myself. Currently I'm learning to make my own mud bricks. Hopefully I will have a post on that & many more DIY things. Most of all I want to get past the feelings of worthlessness. And I need to not count on others to fix this for me.

So, I hope to have lots of new posts on DIY and learning new things. Would like to get more attention to my photography and artwork. Pictures on self-improvement and home improvement. Hope everyone had a blessed Christmas and a safe & wonderful New Year.