Birthday, Chemo, and Hair

Full Complete Series <3

Happy Birthday to me... Well, this is the day that I turned 50, the big five-O. Let me start by thanking everyone EVERYWHERE for my birthday post, phone calls & text. You have no idea how awesome it is. Yesterday spent the day after work with Michael. With everything going on he has been a strong pillar for me to turn to for a-lot. He had gotten me Doctor Who DVDs so I can watch the rest of the series. He sooooo totally gets me. We had a very early dinner at Buffalo Wild Wings. If you ever go for your birthday, you get the richest chocolate cake EVER. To say the least yesterday was pretty awesome & is being added to my happy memory vault.💝💝💝

The Cake Mom & I Shared <3

Today my Mommy came to see me. As some know, it's about 2.5 hours for us to get to each other's homes. Plus, because of family responsibilities, she usually has to be back in the same day. So yea... it's a big deal and I love her for that. But today was not just my birthday, it was also the day that chemo is scheduled to start. Turns out that because of the severity of my cancer, I did NOT start my chemo today. Looks like after all of the doctors discussed it I will be going back into surgery. I will be getting more removed in order to lower the percentage of my cancer coming back.

After all of that, we came home and had an awesome spaghetti dinner. BTW - my Mom does make the BEST spaghetti known to man kind. We had picked up a large single serving cake for the both of us and had an awesome birthday day visit. In which I opened presents, & attempted to color my hair...

Hours Before My Donation

Looooong Hair <3

SEGUE into the hair... Anyone who does know me, knows I LOVE my hair & how hard I keep it long and in good condition. To say the least, the thought of it going into the garbage was NOT acceptable. Due to the fact that I will be getting chemo and the doctor said there was a 90% chance I was going to loose it... I had decided to donate all of my hair to the local wig bank to help others. So I've posted the before, transition, & finally look for my hair. Well... at least for how ever long I'm blessed to keep it LOL

RIP - my pony tail <3

Right after cut & first coloring

Current Look <3

Turns out the super short hair looks pretty cute & I'm really loving playing with the colors. Also... when you are donating your hair Great Clips will cut your hair for FREE 

<3 They are my go to place 

for now on <3

Birthdays - I am so very blessed

 This week was my birthday, and last week was my Mom's birthday. Like we try to do every year we spent the week between our birthdays together.We pretty much chilled at her home and did some thrift store shopping. Just spending time with her has always been a great joy in my life. I see way too many people not appreciate the ability of time with family. I never want to be one of those people that say "I wish I had, or I wish I said". My mom has always been a huge part of my life and I always want her to know how much I love and appreciate her everyday. <steps of soap box>

Any-who, we had an awesome dinner and of course some cake and ice cream. She loved the shirts and Tervis cup that I had gotten her. She had gotten me a Keurig Coffee maker. It's red, my favorite kitchen color and my son had gotten me a Keurig Cup with filters. I really love it and have already picked up the craft that can go with it.

I was so lucky to have the day off from my birthday. I did such constructive things around the house like binge watch Once Upon A Time. Cried on about every episode. Why is a show about fairy tails have so many sad ends all the time LOL. Played with my new kitten and hung out with the dogs. Yep I was so busy getting very important things done lol. Facebook... lets not forget Facebook ~.^


My awesome boyfriend, who had to work that day, messaged me and let me pick dinner for that night. I've always loved eating outside, when it's nice out of course, so I picked Friday Friends. However we ended up a Judges Restaurant. He just knows how I love to try new places, so he suggested somewhere I haven't eaten. He came over bearing gifts and to pick me up for dinner. Not just some random gift that he felt he needed to by, but thoughtful gifts. He knows how much I love copper for my kitchen and the inscription on my new coffee cup was perfect. Inside my card said "Have the kind of birthday that embarrasses your kids." He was tells me that he was trying to find a tree frog bag to hold my stuff, but couldn't. He remembers that I love tree frogs. After so many years of feeling so unimportant, it is so over whelming to feel like I was the most important person that night. To have someone think so highly of you to make sure your birthday was the best day ever. I don't think he even realized how much his thoughtfulness made this the best birthday that I have ever had. Also, he had them sing to me at the restaurant, I've never had waitresses sign for me before, it was awesome.

My Birthday, My Life, My future

This month I'm turning 49. I know, I know, I'm not supposed to say your age. I've never feared getting older. I think my biggest fear was just getting older without someone by my side. I've never cared for the feeling of not knowing if I was on the right path, or with the right person. Always thinking that if I wasn't married that my life for some reason is incomplete.

In just a little over a year, there has been so many changes happening. I walked away from a life that I thought I wanted and found out that the life I wanted was two states away. The main reason for moving back to NC was to find out who I was, and where I needed to be. As much as I loved the person that I was with, I didn't like the person I was with him. So as much as it hurt to leave I left in order to find a better me. As it turns out we both are better people for it and now we are probably better friends then we ever where. Our experiences have shown each other of who we are and I am thankful that our friendship getting better as time moves on.

Since my move, I've joined a shag dance club, took up wine tasting, and started doing more thing that made me happy. I set goals for my life in gaming, relationships, and family. I've cut down on gaming and started focusing on making friends. I've met someone awesome that I share common interest and corks with. At the same time we respect each others differences too. Plus I'm working on spending more time with family, now that I'm closer to them. I'm learning that being satisfied in myself is what I was lacking in my old life. I had the illusion that it was up to someone else to make me happy. Lets not forget the fact that I've bought myself a new home. I've found that I get great happiness from working on making this house into the home that I've always wanted.


Looking back at my life I know that the path I needed to take to find my boyfriend was a necessary one. All my past experiences have shown me how lucky I am to have him in my life. I thank God everyday for finding someone who thinks bow ties are cool too. He cares for his family, works on cars, and saves turtles from the side of the road. What more can someone want from a love. Plus he knows how much mike to put in my cereal and how to make my coffee <3

As I'm getting older, I still have a wanting to grow old with someone. However it's gone from "OMG - I need to have this now" to "I look forward to when the time is right to be with my forever love". Knowing that no matter what happens in the future everything will happen for the best. That right there folks has got the be the most peaceful feeling that I've ever had.

There is a path...

So much is happening and it seems to be happening all the time. Change and growth keep surrounding me like a beautiful forest.

In the past couple weeks I was able to cook dinner for my friend. What was supposed to be a simple dinner for 6-7 turned into a dinner for 11 people. Surprisingly I was able to change up my menu and make a second dessert to make this happen. I served up taco lasagna, with brown rice and black beans. Add a salad and tortilla chips with chili cheese dip. She had wanted a lemon cake, so I made that and added chocolate cup cakes. Everything was pretty good, and everyone seemed to enjoy it.

Easter was completely amazing. I got to spend time with my family this year. It's a bit of a long drive, but so worth it. I always enjoy seeing my Mom, Dad and my nieces and there families. Not to mention everyone else. Way too many people to mention. Mom made lunch for about 16 people. (and I thought my dinner party was big). 

I'm also learning that you can't rely on people when you need them. I need to count on me and just me. Multiple times I've tried and needed a friend and they where no where to be found. Just out busy living & enjoying life. Finding out that I'm just not as high on their priority list as I thought I was. I staked way too much of my heart in a one sided friendship. It's not really there fault, it's mine for thinking that we where more then what we where. It's time that I realized who and where my truest friends are. If it turns out that there are none, then I need to be ok with that. In the end it doesn't matter, I'm the one that controls my happiness and the out come of my life. It's time that I become the one too bust living and enjoying life for a change.

Now currently, I'm working on more changes and working though the path of the forest. I would like to loose weight and get more of my self confidence back. I now that you shouldn't base your confidence on your appearance, but however, who wouldn't want to look better naked. I'm  hoping to be successful in my container garden. Would like to be a bit more organized and more independent. I love being with my boyfriend, but need to make sure that I'm not depending on him for my happiness.

On that note, I will hopefully be going to the museum today. I love looking at art and I love the quite atmosphere of being in one. As an added bonus, my love said that he will be going with me. I do have a admit, even though I'm working on this independent thing... life is much more enjoyable when he is around.