My Birthday, My Life, My future

This month I'm turning 49. I know, I know, I'm not supposed to say your age. I've never feared getting older. I think my biggest fear was just getting older without someone by my side. I've never cared for the feeling of not knowing if I was on the right path, or with the right person. Always thinking that if I wasn't married that my life for some reason is incomplete.

In just a little over a year, there has been so many changes happening. I walked away from a life that I thought I wanted and found out that the life I wanted was two states away. The main reason for moving back to NC was to find out who I was, and where I needed to be. As much as I loved the person that I was with, I didn't like the person I was with him. So as much as it hurt to leave I left in order to find a better me. As it turns out we both are better people for it and now we are probably better friends then we ever where. Our experiences have shown each other of who we are and I am thankful that our friendship getting better as time moves on.

Since my move, I've joined a shag dance club, took up wine tasting, and started doing more thing that made me happy. I set goals for my life in gaming, relationships, and family. I've cut down on gaming and started focusing on making friends. I've met someone awesome that I share common interest and corks with. At the same time we respect each others differences too. Plus I'm working on spending more time with family, now that I'm closer to them. I'm learning that being satisfied in myself is what I was lacking in my old life. I had the illusion that it was up to someone else to make me happy. Lets not forget the fact that I've bought myself a new home. I've found that I get great happiness from working on making this house into the home that I've always wanted.


Looking back at my life I know that the path I needed to take to find my boyfriend was a necessary one. All my past experiences have shown me how lucky I am to have him in my life. I thank God everyday for finding someone who thinks bow ties are cool too. He cares for his family, works on cars, and saves turtles from the side of the road. What more can someone want from a love. Plus he knows how much mike to put in my cereal and how to make my coffee <3

As I'm getting older, I still have a wanting to grow old with someone. However it's gone from "OMG - I need to have this now" to "I look forward to when the time is right to be with my forever love". Knowing that no matter what happens in the future everything will happen for the best. That right there folks has got the be the most peaceful feeling that I've ever had.

Still the Same Ole Me

Pretty busy weekend happened, but there seemed to be some day-ja-voes that occurs in my life. There was a pretty big car show over the weekend. My boyfriend is part a Regatta Buck car club. So of course we where going.

We spent Friday afternoon, looking around the salvage yard. Trying to find a missing part for my son. Did find the part, but I always life a good tressure hunt anyways. I get the idea that I'm surviving a post apocalyptic time. I'm keeping an out for bad people, or zombies, while my awesome boyfriend is hunting parts that we need to survive.

After heading out and getting my son back home from his job, I'm heading back to help my boyfriend get his car ready for the show. I'm not very helpful in most things, so I asked if he wanted to have his water. I had to stop and giggle when I caught myself tapping the glass to make the ice float. Something that he doesn't care about, but it's something that I have gotten a custom to doing.

The car show was pretty awesome. I don't know much about cars, but I felt it's important to support the people who you care about. It was sooooo freezing. I stupidly left my hoodie at the house. All I had was a sweater and the club gave us tee-shirts. While walking the track, my awesome boyfriend put me in his over shirt. Now all he had on was a short sleeve button down :( After a bit, I could tell he was getting colder, so I told him I was hot and gave him back his shirt. By the end of the event, I had a wind burn, that still bothers me now LOL

Looking at cars, deciding what car to buy. Agreeing with all his picks. Of course only if he agreed to let me drive them too. After all, who am I to discourage him from his dreams. Specially after we win and lottery and are rich. We will have the car, the house and even a barn for a horse. ~.^ It's fun to think about getting what you want, even if in reality you don't.

Later that night, I was sore, burnt, and my foot that's been bothering me was hurting. He knew I was in pain, but I wouldn't give in and tell him. He knows that I don't want people to worry about me. I'm not sure why. Maybe it's cause I don't want to think that people feel sorry for me. Or, think that people only care cause I'm weak or in pain. I don't want to be needy.

Sunday, he went to have dinner with his family. I choose to stay at the house. He had asked me to make his sandwiches for work. Of course I would. Got the sandwiches made, watched some TV and then waited from him to come home. After he showered, we watched a movie and then I went home.

I find myself doing the same things over and over again. Pretending to be in my fantasy worlds, tapping the ice off the bottom of a glass of water. Fetching water, food and walking in the cold to be with and make someone happy. I'm not complaining, I'm just seeing a pattern of giving and doing what ever it takes to help someone I love. 

I just don't want make the same mistakes again.

Bits and Pieces, Ups and Downs

This past week or so has been pretty up and down.  My son & my boyfriend's son have been working on a car together. I always have hopes of them becoming friends, & doing more together. Turns out, I don't think he is found of my son. At least when it's over, my son will hopefully have a working car.

April 1st was the start of the Cruse Inn car show. It's a show where locals go to hang out with there classic cars. It pretty much happens around this burger & shake shop. They have a DJ, raffle drawing, & in general a fun crowd. My boyfriend loves to bring his cars. Plus it's fun watching him show off a bit.

Out of the blue, my awesome guy got me a tablet. He always knew I wanted one. We walk around a pawn shop after having TCBY. After we left, on or way to the music store, he surprised me with it. Even now it can feel strange to feel important to someone. I keep thinking it's a dream & one day my life will be back to the way it was.

It's been a rough weekend at work. It seems that everyone always have this feeling of entitlement. So here's my rant...
     No... It is not my responsibility to have your coupons. If I happen to have one, then fine, if not, look them up your self.
     It is not my problem if you wait till the day your bill is due. Nor can I control if my computers are down all over the store.
     Being nasty or mean to me or my co-workers will not help your case. If anything I will put you at the bottom of my priorities.

Also, I seem to have messed up one of my ankles. It's swollen, and hurts if it turns a bit. Not sure what happened or what I can do about it. Will have to wait and keep an eye on it <sigh>

On an up note my garden seems to be doing good. I'm looking forward to the car show this Saturday. Plus, when my son gets his car, he and I will have a bit more freedom.

Hope everyone has 
a wonderful day <3