Starting A New

It's been forever since I've posted on here. A lot has happened since my last post. 2017 was a horrible year of chemo, surgeries, heart breaks, and reaching my lowest point in depression. 2018 in the beginning wasn't much better. Still dealing with chemo and the then having a double mastectomy. The constant feeling being lied and the mis trust I dealt with most of the year. There where time that I have reached a low that even the most important people in my family didn't know about. Then even in the end of the year, I'm dealing with people working on making me feel my worst. Some trying to make me second guest my choice mostly. Or others who try to so the seeds of lies to make me question my friends and relations.

However we are not at the end of 2018 and a New Year is about to begin. Currently I'm feeling the most confident that I've felt in years. The people who care have made sure to let me know that they are with me for life & others who only care to hurt me have chosen to step away.

This year I have finished my chemo and as stated before I had a double mastectomy, with reconstruction. Pretty much I now look like a barbe LOL. Finished radiation and back at work just in time for the Christmas holidays. You have no idea how great it is to work, when you are told you can't. I've learned how to refurbished my own floors in my house, and they look pretty good, if I say so myself. It has giving me the confidence to try to learn as many new things that I can. This Sunday I will be started in my new position at work on the Merchandising team. It's much earlier hours and hopefully more physical. I so excited to get on with my new venture with the team.

The holidays where awesome and I hope to have pictures to post soon. However I have eaten myself into a whopping ???.6 lbs. Way to embarrassed to actually say my weight, but that is something I am going to have to fix. However that segways me into the next part of my blog... GOALS

I know, it's a bit early for the whole New Year's Resolution, but this is what I was thinking about "this" morning... I really want to focus on me this year. I spend way to much energy worrying about what she/he thinks and if people like or don't like me. I want to look in a mirror and be happy with myself (aka weight loss & taking care of how I look). Maybe a post of weight loss with pop up one day. Lets all hope so >.<  I want to be more active and feel better about going out doing things. Tired of being winded with the smallest of tasks. I want to go hiking, swimming and in general do more things to feel alive. I want to make "my" house the best that it can be. It's been far to long that I have neglected it. It's time to make into a home that I can be proud of. I want to learn all that I can and do things for myself. Currently I'm learning to make my own mud bricks. Hopefully I will have a post on that & many more DIY things. Most of all I want to get past the feelings of worthlessness. And I need to not count on others to fix this for me.

So, I hope to have lots of new posts on DIY and learning new things. Would like to get more attention to my photography and artwork. Pictures on self-improvement and home improvement. Hope everyone had a blessed Christmas and a safe & wonderful New Year.

Birthday, Chemo, and Hair

Full Complete Series <3

Happy Birthday to me... Well, this is the day that I turned 50, the big five-O. Let me start by thanking everyone EVERYWHERE for my birthday post, phone calls & text. You have no idea how awesome it is. Yesterday spent the day after work with Michael. With everything going on he has been a strong pillar for me to turn to for a-lot. He had gotten me Doctor Who DVDs so I can watch the rest of the series. He sooooo totally gets me. We had a very early dinner at Buffalo Wild Wings. If you ever go for your birthday, you get the richest chocolate cake EVER. To say the least yesterday was pretty awesome & is being added to my happy memory vault.💝💝💝

The Cake Mom & I Shared <3

Today my Mommy came to see me. As some know, it's about 2.5 hours for us to get to each other's homes. Plus, because of family responsibilities, she usually has to be back in the same day. So yea... it's a big deal and I love her for that. But today was not just my birthday, it was also the day that chemo is scheduled to start. Turns out that because of the severity of my cancer, I did NOT start my chemo today. Looks like after all of the doctors discussed it I will be going back into surgery. I will be getting more removed in order to lower the percentage of my cancer coming back.

After all of that, we came home and had an awesome spaghetti dinner. BTW - my Mom does make the BEST spaghetti known to man kind. We had picked up a large single serving cake for the both of us and had an awesome birthday day visit. In which I opened presents, & attempted to color my hair...

Hours Before My Donation

Looooong Hair <3

SEGUE into the hair... Anyone who does know me, knows I LOVE my hair & how hard I keep it long and in good condition. To say the least, the thought of it going into the garbage was NOT acceptable. Due to the fact that I will be getting chemo and the doctor said there was a 90% chance I was going to loose it... I had decided to donate all of my hair to the local wig bank to help others. So I've posted the before, transition, & finally look for my hair. Well... at least for how ever long I'm blessed to keep it LOL

RIP - my pony tail <3

Right after cut & first coloring

Current Look <3

Turns out the super short hair looks pretty cute & I'm really loving playing with the colors. Also... when you are donating your hair Great Clips will cut your hair for FREE 

<3 They are my go to place 

for now on <3

The "C" Word...preventing re-spawns

Well... the raid on my cancer for the most part was very successful. The tumor was removed & they only took out two lymph nodes. The first lymph node showed to have cancer but at first glance the second did not. This reassuring the doctor that the cancer had not spread to anywhere else. And in this perfect world I would just have radiation & then be done with it....

However in THIS world is turns out that after further testing of the second left sentinel lymph node  #2 positive for carcinoma.This means that the cancer could now be working in my lymph node system. Just a quick 411... The lymph nodes is what travels everything to the rest of your body. So YES this is serious. And to top it off the cancer that I have is called metaplastic carcinoma. Apparently this is a very aggressive form of cancer. They are even talking about MAYBE going back in to remove more tissue & ALL of my lymph nodes. This however is the worst case scenario.

What does this mean moving on from now... Looks like instead of "just" doing radiation, I will also have to undergo chemo. I will have to head back to the hospital to get what they call is a port. This will allow me to get blood drawn, & get my treatments will little to no pain. From what everything that I've talked with friends, family, doctors, nurses... everyone is affected differently. I have been told that chocolate chip mint ice cream is the best way to get back my taste buds after treatment.

After all the chemo treatments are done, then it's back to having radiation. Which I will be getting about 30 days of this.

On an up note... My awesome mommy is coming up to drive me to & from the hospital next week when I get my port. PLUS, that following week (which is my birthday) she is coming up to sit with me during my chemo.  Even though everything can be so overwhelming, I thank God that I have people that give support & are there when I need them. Though HIM and them, I can make it thew anything.

P.S. - Next week I will be making a big change. 💟

"C" word... Dungeon strat

Meet with the doctor to go over the plan of action to take down this boss named cancer. According to
the CT scan it seems to have only spawned in a very small area of my breast. So thankfully we are going use the lumpectomy strat.

According to Dr. Green, and his small team of five, he will put me under and proceed to remove the cancer. Then inject a blue dye that will help to see if any of the limp-nodes could have gotten infected. Kind of like what the CT scan did, but more. He will then be removing anywhere from one to four possible nodes in order to test them. Hopefully they will all come back cancer free and the battle on my tatas will be over. However... if they any one of them come back to be infected then they too will be removed.

Providing the dungeon area is cleared & everything is removed, I should then only have to do radiation treatment. This is to keep any from coming back & re-infecting me again.

My doctor is very optimistic & feels that everything should turn out great. I love the fact that he's very confident in knowing that we can go with a lumpectomy & radiation. Talking with people, I had heard so many stories of doctors just wanting to remove everything. To be honest I'm just a bit too vain to loose my breast. So to say the least, I was very happy that he was feeling good about just doing that lumpectomy. Mind you, I would be lying if I didn't say I was scarred to death, but I'm working really hard to keep my faith that in God's hands everything will be fine.

Once again I would like to thank all my friends who have reached out to. Your calls & messages have meant the world to me. Thank you to my family and sons. My youngest came up to see me & for the fist time in about 3 years I had all three of my boys under one roof. Special thanks to my Mom who drove 2.5 hours one way, just to sit with me to get the news on my surgery. Plus she will be here again this Wednesday to be with till I'm up and well again. God couldn't have given me a better Mom then the one I have <3 And of course, my handsome boyfriend Michael. Even with the crazy hours he has at work, he always found the time to support me. He's always there when I need him and he is the rock that I hold onto when I feel I'm about to fall.

Hope everyone has a blessed week and I will be back more updates. 

The "C" word... latest updates

Well... this has been what seems to be a no-stop week. However it kind of starts off with last week, and that is where I will start.

I've met my doctor that seems to be in charge of the future of my tatas. We sat down, went over the possibilities of what can happen. He explained that hopefully we will just do a lumpectomy & maybe some radiation,but of course we discussed the slim possibilities of a full mastectomy. Then we set me up with appoints & apparently I get a cancer buddy. She is someone that has already gone though this & she has gotten her masters in helping people with understand what is happening.

Now this brings us to this week. After calling my kids & letting them know what was happening, I decided to open up to social media. To say the least my kids are very supportive & my son even dropped everything just to come up to see me for a day that I was off. The out pour of friends & support from everyone was awesome. I couldn't ask for a better support team, & I love that people reaching out to me is very overwhelming (in a good way of course).

My awesome son Colby came up on Tuesday morning with his friends. I had to be at work that morning, but he came to my work to see me. It's such a blessing to know that he felt the need to come see me. I don't thing even he knows how much it really meant to me. Wednesday was my appoint for my CT Scan. I had to be at the hospital at 8:00 & I wasn't even able to have any food or (gulp) coffee before my test. Colby had gotten up & of course went with me for my test. They have you drink this nasty stuff, OMG - I can't even describe how it made me feel a bit ill. When we went into the room for the test, they put you on long table & inject iodine into your system. It gives you a warm feeling from your head all the way down. Plus you get the taste of metal in your mouth. They move you though a tube & the process is over before you even know it. Afterward the awesome nurse even made me a cup of coffee & brought it right to me.

The following day was my appointment with the rehabilitation part of everything. Apparently, the doctor will be removing 2-3 lymph nodes from under my arm. This is so that they can test them for cancer. Let's pray that doesn't happen, because that would be very bad. However with this procedure, there is a chance that I can get lymphedema later in life. Lymphedema is swelling of the arm, hand, fingers, chest, or back on the side where you had your surgery. It can be very uncomfortable. However I did get to meet my new friend Dolly. She cam in to say hi and sit and talk with me while they where getting thing together. She's a very sweet lady and brought me a care package.

 Between family, friends, the best boyfriend EVER,

 I have the strongest support group that anyone can have. 

I just want to thank everyone has reached out in support & love. 

With God and you, I know that there is nothing that can hold us down.

The "C" word

A couple weeks ago was a normal series of physicals. Doctor appointments, mammograms, & of course the yearly girly check up. For the most part everything was perfect, I'm in better shape then most women 1/2 my age. However there was a some anomalies with my mammogram.

As they sat and explained that I would need a biopsy and that 85% of time it turns out to be nothing more then fatty tissue. I needed the biopsy only because this was my first mammogram, & they needed to document anything unusual. This way next year they know not to worry unless anything changes.

So... last week I went in for my big day. As nervous I was, I still had all the love and support from my family & of course my awesome boyfriend, who took the whole day off just to be with me. The nurses & doctors where awesome and they expanded everything that was going to happen. The doctor preforming the procedure even took the time to pray & put my mine at ease.

Everything went very smoothly. I couldn't have asked for a better team. I was relaxed & for the most part didn't feel a thing. It all was done and over with before I even realized it was even happening. After it was over, they explained that my primary doctor would have the results by the up coming Wednesday. Then I left with my new tiny pillow & three very pretty roses, and had a relaxing day with Michael watching TV & hanging out with him. Over all a great day. Did I mention that he got me the cutest stuff kitty too.

Then the call came early, just this past Monday (not Wednesday). My doctor called and asked me to come in. I asked why & she informed me that it was indeed cancer. My minded is shocked... the dreaded "C" word.  I had just finished working out, so I got dressed and heading in for the fateful meeting with her. She explained that this is a very common form, but still had to get me an appointment with a surgeon ASAP. In just a matter of weeks, I've gone from just a routine of years check-up to OMG - I need a surgeon, collecting doctor's notes for work, talking about possible medical disability.  I NOW have a life threatening object in my body. My mind is in circles & racing out of control. My whole life I've always been for the most part in charge of my destiny, but now I'm not.

Today is going to be appointment with my surgeon. This is the day we will know our options and the course that we will take in order to get over this. I really do know that I'm in God's hands and that he is the one in control. I would be lying if I didn't say that every nerve in my body feels like still exploding with emotion, but I am for the most part trying to stay calm. I also still have the support and love of my family & of Michael. I couldn't ask for a better support team. I will post updates as I get them & as soon as I can.

It's been a bit of time since I've posted about how I came to be where I am.
So, lets play a game of "actual true facts about Kim".

Some people may think that I've been a southern girl my whole life. Honestly,  I've only lived in the south for less than 20 years give or take. I was actually born in Neptune, New Jersey. Yes folks I'm a born yankee,  and try not to hate me for it. To be honest,  with all the moving I have done in my life, I've never considered myself to any one region.

Age 2 to about 8.  Mom and I lived in Florida, she met Jim (Dad) and then we lived in Birmingham, Washington State. Right around 6th grade we all moved back to Florida,  where I lived for the most part in Fort Lauderdale, FL. I didn't leave Florida till I was about 34 years of age, to come live in Franklin,  North Carolina. A big chunk of my family was here so that was part of my reasoning for coming here. Between the time of then to now, I did live for about 4 years in Indiana, and I only lived in Birmingham Alabama for 3 years. As much as I would have loved to have seen my friend in Mobile AL, I never did get a chance to visit her town, like ever. Learned the hard way that you need to make time for family and friends when you can, cause you may miss the chance. Now I currently live in Valdese, NC where I love. It's close to stores, events, dancing, car shows and I'm still close enough to see my family in Franklin when I want.

I've gotten most of my schooling in Florida where I attended middle and high school (Go SHS Dragons). As a single mom, I worked, raised my son and still got an Associate in Science Degree in Communication Arts. All three of my children were born in Florida and raised in the warm Florida sunshine. The reasoning for my move to NC was to give my children a safer and cleaner life. Gangs, drugs, and violence were escalating every year. I gave up my career and the life I knew to make a better life for my children.

I've always worked hard, there were times that I've gone without eating so my kids could get a full meal. I saved every penny and continued to work as much as I could. The first few years in NC where hard, we lived in a small mobile home. I had just enough to pay for it out right, it wasn't pretty, but I knew we would always have a roof over our heads. I used part of my tax returns to up date it and make it pretty decent home. As kids moved out and/or went to school I tried to find my way in Alabama. I met some awesome people, but it really was not the place for me.

Here I am in Valdese,  NC and I'm happier than I've ever been. For a time I lived in a "very affordable" apartment. It wasn't the greatest, but it was nice and enabled me to live on my own. Also it enabled me to afford my first nice car, a PT Cruiser. I had mentioned to my boyfriend that I was looking for a car and he had found that one. I'm not fond of hand outs, so I don't personally accept them, so I make sure I pay for everything that I own. Plus my niece had been renting my house in Franklin, so that also helps out too. Currently I now own another house,  here in my home of Valdese. It's a fixer upper, but I like doing stuff like that. 

My niece and her husband's van had blown the engine and they had lost their only vehicle. Having two children, my great nephew & great niece, whom I love I wanted to make sure they had a reliable car. I remembered that my boyfriend was thinking of selling his Reatta, so asked how much he was interested in getting it for. It was a fair and affordable, so I sold my PT Cruiser to my niece. I paid in advance for the car and for all the parts to repair it. 

Write your story and leave a link, it's fun to get to know new people and how their live has come to be.

P.S. Michael Bassett for President